Reflections On A New Year

A new year, yet again.  I feel like I've just said that.  Truly, as the years pass, the time seems to pass more quickly.  This year, I find myself contemplating my mortality and how much time I might have to do the things I wish.

So, what do I wish?  A lot of things, most of which don't need discussing here and would probably horrify my friends and family.  But I really do wish to make things.  I have boxes of unfinished projects.  Boxes of supplies for new projects.  Sketchbooks full of plans and notes for those new projects.  And isn't that all the story of my life?  I have all this stuff and I'm not doing anything with it.  "We've heard this before, Jenn," you might fairly say.  "Is it really important?"

Yes.  Yes it's really important, because I think about it every day.  I keep these sketchbooks and notes, because these are the thoughts that run through my head every day and I'm compelled to record them, and remember them and share them with the world.

So why aren't I sharing, and how do I get to that bit?  I can come up with a number of excuses; no time, no space, too tired, my hand doesn't work well enough anymore to use scissors or hold a needle for too long.  Yes, all of that is so, but I'm surely not the only creative person to face these problems, so they are only excuses and can be sorted and overcome.

Anything else?  Why yes!  I'm always doing projects that other people have asked for.  I give up to easily when I run into a problem with a project, and instead of working through it, I just go on to something new.

It's time to accept my flaws and just find a way to make things happen. So first, I'm going to focus on doing the projects that I want to do, and not take on so many that others want me to do.  This is supposed to be my journey, and with only a few outstanding projects for other people remaining, I can soon focus on my work.  The projects I want finishing are on the top of the pile, in an open box so I can set my eyes on them regularly.  Harder to ignore them if they aren't hidden in a closet.  My plan is to work through that box, project by project, one at a time.  If I come across any that are holding me back too much, I'll just send them to Susan and she can cut them up to her hearts content for her own art. 

I believe this plan will work.  It will work, because I want it to.  I want it to work because I don't want to come to the end of my time and feel I accomplished nothing.  I don't want the people dearest to me to come to the end of their time and say, "too bad I didn't get to see what you could really do".  Nobody wants to be a disappointment, right?

And with all that said, I think maybe I've made it out to seem like I've created nothing recently.  That's not true.  I made my Christmas gifts this year.  I've been working on a few figures that I'm not ready to share yet.  I played with a lot of ideas that were failures. 

I read a quote today, the words of Dieter F. Uchtdorf.  "What you create today does not have to be perfect".  There is comfort for me in those words, so I leave you with
my imperfectly perfect penguins.