Midge and Millie and Otis

The year has almost finished and I've left my blog in the dark about what I've been creating.  My journey this year has been a personal one through darkness that somehow doesn't seem to have a place here.  There aren't really words to put to the experiences anyhow.  Perhaps in the future, this journey will speak its way into my art.  But not now.  Now I'm focused on finding some light in the mess I've found myself in. 

My last post, I said I was hoping to finish up a few projects I'd taken on for other people, and then focus more on my own projects.  To some extent this has happened.  Many items were made, out of necessity rather than desire perhaps, but ultimately all the furniture, clothing and personal accessories that were made, were from my artistic self.  Making all that stuff I didn't wish to make for myself still taught me skills in can use again in future projects.  And hey, now I own a scroll-saw and a hammer drill--I'm an artist with power tools!!!!  Oh the possibilities... 

Making all that stuff I don't wish to make for myself/my home also gave me a bit of a selfish attitude when finishing up the projects other people had asked me for.  I looked upon the half finished projects with scorn and said "forget it, these people are getting my interpretation of their idea and if they don't like it then we're finished!".  So freeing it was to my muse to speak those words!  The projects endeared themselves to me, and I was able to shape them from my mind and heart rather than feel I had to make something a particular way because Mrs. Soandso described her vision as such.  If she didn't want my interpretation, she probably wouldn't have asked me to create it, right?  She knowing full well what my art often looks like...  The projects that just weren't working all of a sudden began to take shape!

Now, everyone's projects are finished.  All of them!  Most weren't photographed however.  I just wanted them out of my space and off to their homes a quickly as possible.  That and my camera broke.  Always something has to try to hold me back.  Oh well, we'll just have to deal with lousy photos here for a while until I can manage a new one.  My apologies. 

There are two projects recently finished that I can share.  Midge and Millie were created as a thank you gift for a woman who has restocked my studio with paint, lots and lots of paint, some other general craft items, and some more paint!  Midge lost her head a few times in the sculpting process, and I lost my temper with her more times than that.  We've parted on polite terms and they've taken up  residence with a woman who seems to love her more than I ever imagined she could be liked;  despicable little fairy....

After that was Otis.  Otis had been living in my sketchbook for years, and finally got to become a real owl, sculpted with polymer clay over a real egg,  when I needed to make a close friend's owl collecting wife a gift...my way of saying "thanks for letting me steal your husband and drag him 3000 mile away from you for 27 days cause my life's a mess and I need him; you're awesome".  I'm lucky to have had time with my friend and Otis is lucky to have travelled home to the UK in one piece.  Everyone is happy.              

Reflections On A New Year

A new year, yet again.  I feel like I've just said that.  Truly, as the years pass, the time seems to pass more quickly.  This year, I find myself contemplating my mortality and how much time I might have to do the things I wish.

So, what do I wish?  A lot of things, most of which don't need discussing here and would probably horrify my friends and family.  But I really do wish to make things.  I have boxes of unfinished projects.  Boxes of supplies for new projects.  Sketchbooks full of plans and notes for those new projects.  And isn't that all the story of my life?  I have all this stuff and I'm not doing anything with it.  "We've heard this before, Jenn," you might fairly say.  "Is it really important?"

Yes.  Yes it's really important, because I think about it every day.  I keep these sketchbooks and notes, because these are the thoughts that run through my head every day and I'm compelled to record them, and remember them and share them with the world.

So why aren't I sharing, and how do I get to that bit?  I can come up with a number of excuses; no time, no space, too tired, my hand doesn't work well enough anymore to use scissors or hold a needle for too long.  Yes, all of that is so, but I'm surely not the only creative person to face these problems, so they are only excuses and can be sorted and overcome.

Anything else?  Why yes!  I'm always doing projects that other people have asked for.  I give up to easily when I run into a problem with a project, and instead of working through it, I just go on to something new.

It's time to accept my flaws and just find a way to make things happen. So first, I'm going to focus on doing the projects that I want to do, and not take on so many that others want me to do.  This is supposed to be my journey, and with only a few outstanding projects for other people remaining, I can soon focus on my work.  The projects I want finishing are on the top of the pile, in an open box so I can set my eyes on them regularly.  Harder to ignore them if they aren't hidden in a closet.  My plan is to work through that box, project by project, one at a time.  If I come across any that are holding me back too much, I'll just send them to Susan and she can cut them up to her hearts content for her own art. 

I believe this plan will work.  It will work, because I want it to.  I want it to work because I don't want to come to the end of my time and feel I accomplished nothing.  I don't want the people dearest to me to come to the end of their time and say, "too bad I didn't get to see what you could really do".  Nobody wants to be a disappointment, right?

And with all that said, I think maybe I've made it out to seem like I've created nothing recently.  That's not true.  I made my Christmas gifts this year.  I've been working on a few figures that I'm not ready to share yet.  I played with a lot of ideas that were failures. 

I read a quote today, the words of Dieter F. Uchtdorf.  "What you create today does not have to be perfect".  There is comfort for me in those words, so I leave you with
my imperfectly perfect penguins.