Demons

I think it's probably that everyone has a demon project.  You know, the project that needs doing, that you don't want to do, that maybe you never wanted to start in the first place,  and keeps getting put off because just thinking about it makes you scared and sick. 

My demon project has been with me for 20 months and involves a 1940 Effanbee Patsy/Patricia doll. Patsy needed shoes.  I could make shoes for her, I was told.  I can?  I'd never made shoes for anything before.  While thinking to myself, "are you sure?", I said out loud, "err, I don't know". Out came Patsy and her perfect tiny wardrobe of 1930's and 40's clothing.   All the clothing made for the doll's owner was also made in miniature for Patsy, too.  I felt no confidence in making Patsy shoes.  Not just any shoes, replica white Mary Jane's and replica brown Oxford's. Yet, somehow I went home that day with Patsy and the task of making her shoes.

Today, Patsy has gone home.  She has even gone home with two pairs of new shoes.  For so many reasons, this project took me far too long.  Even now, I doubt that they are good enough for her.  They aren't perfect, but they did receive my best effort.  Most importantly, I did do them.  I didn't think I could at all, and I did makes shoes. 

With "Patsy's Shoes" now crossed off my list of projects to do, I feel relief,  and a sense of freedom.  I'm now free to work on the next project of my choice, without Patsy glaring at me from across the room.