This Is Supposed To Be Fun, Right?

The best laid plans can always spoil. My most recent plan was to do this year's Hoffman Challenge. I have the fabric, have the pattern all planned out, and in fact, have the doll half done. But I'm quitting. Have quit.

I bought the fabric because I loved it and wanted to use it, not because it was the Challenge fabric and I intended on entering the Challenge. This is good-means I'm not the slightest bit upset that Kami isn't going to go to California. But why quit now? I still have enough time to finish her and send her before the Challenge deadline.

There are lots of reasons , but mostly because of a brief conversation I had about her with an acquaintance and local artist. She inquired a few weeks ago if I had yet finished the piece. I replied that I hadn't and expressed some frustration with getting Kami to go together how I envision. Her reply was, "I hope you are having fun with the process". And I was. I was having fun.

A few weeks have passed since then, and I've stopped having fun. I have lots of ideas about how I'd like to see this doll come together, and about what accessories she requires. Many of these ideas, however, are against the contest guidelines; things that would make the figure too large in diameter at the base or accessories that are possibly fragile. I've drafted and redrafted the pattern so many times already. I'm frustrated and ready to find out how aerodynamic Kami is if I pitch her off the balcony. I've come to a point where I have to decide whether it is more important to finish the doll to the Challenge specifications, or let the doll speak for herself and become who she tells me she wants to be. Obviously, I realize that working within the confines of the contest rules is part of the challenge, but like I said, I didn't start this project with the intentions of entering the Challenge anyhow. I've decided to not enter the Challenge to let Kami be who she wants to be without any restrictions.

There's also the more selfish part that doesn't want to spend every moment of every day that I have sitting inside and sewing her. It's summer, it's beautiful outside. I want to be outside in the sun, plant flowers with my son, play in the rain, pick berries and sit under the apple tree and paint. Yes, it's all my fault that I've left this doll to the last minute when I've had the fabric for months and months now-but projects just work better for me when completed under pressure.

So, with the decision to not stress out and send Kami to California (what does a Japanese water spirit really want to go to California for anyhow?) I'm happy again. I am once again having FUN with her, and this art thing is supposed to be fun, right?! Since I'm not sending her to be juried, I can share her with you now too. Not finished, not pretty, but promising. I really do like her. I have much hope for this one so I won't send her for flight training off my balcony (at least not yet).